Rape - February 20, 2007

I arrived in London on February 20th around midday. When I checked in at the Holiday Inn-Forum Plaza, I had expected to find at least a welcoming message from Jeff - or some flowers and maybe even a bottle of Champagne as he had announced before in some of his mails .......

But there was nothing at all - and that should have been a first strong warning what to expect ...... since this was so much in contrast to what he had promised to me before in all his 'romantic and loving mails' ..... 'but talk is cheap' as I should soon learn .....

I still decided to give him a 'chance' and left a message in his Hotel (Kempinski-Court) as well as on his cell phone....

Finally, Jeff called me back more than 3 hours later around 4 pm announcing that he would be at my Hotel around 6:30 pm.

He proposed that we should meet in in the Lobby, take a drink first, go out for dinner after - and then spend the night together 'to do all the things we have always dreamed of, my Love".......

Since he had mentioned that we should have Dinner at the Langham, I dressed up for such an exclusive place - but he came just wearing black trousers and a black sweater (a little bit like the MEND people in his Nigeria Report).

I made a remark to this asking if he was really seriously planning to have dinner with me at the Langham since as you may know, the London Top Restaurants have a quite strict dress-code for the evening.

But he assured me that his outfit was o.k. - 'why - what's wrong with what I wear? ..'

We then talked for about an hour, sitting in the Lobby, sipping a glass of wine ..........

Although I should have been warned: In the middle of our conversation - mainly about the Nigeria Report, his problems with the CNN Lawyers which were still going on also in London - people we both knew in- and outside Kenya etc. - he all of the sudden stopped and said, "I want to make love to you ...... right now !!!!!!"

I started laughing and trying to tease him, I said, "You are crazy. Have you forgotten, we have a date for dinner ..... that's it - at least for now."

But he insisted, "But I am ready .... so let's do it ...... now ........ or don't you want me anymore?"

He must then have realized that I felt quite embarrassed especially after this last remark, so he quickly returned to our former conversation - and I felt 'safe' again ...........

Especially since something quite strange had happened - at least for me:

If you have read our former correspondence well, you will have realized that we spoke a lot about a certain 'chemistry' between us - an almost sexual attraction.

But when I saw him there in London and after having spoken with him for some minutes, I realized that - at least for me - this feeling had totally disappeared like it had never even existed.

...... Yes, he was an intelligent man ...... nice talking to ........ but nothing else.

I saw him as a quite unsecure young man craving for attention ...... not at all the man I had seen on TV and definitely not the man who had written to me all those lover letters.

To me he was like an 'empty shell' ........

Based on this impression, I felt 'superior' and in control like I had always been in my life when it came to having a relationship:

It was me who decided with whom and when and how - not only at the beginning but mainly when and how to finish it.

But how wrong Jeff should prove me to be in his case ..............

--------- to be continued ------------